Parenting

When siblings fight

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The next thing that annoys me the most apart from unreasonable tantrums is sibling fights. It’s natural to want to step in immediately and stop the fight (whatever it is) or assume that it’s the older sibling’s fault.

Step back and observe. Let the children learn to solve their own conflicts and step in when someone is hurt or being hurt physically or verbally.

When I started stepping back, the kids would run to me ALL THE TIME, whining and trying to gain my sympathy. It got to a point where I was extremely frustrated and exhausted. I mean, how many of such ‘nonsensical’ arguments can a Mom handle each day?

I punished the two boys by commanding them to stand by the wall yesterday afternoon, over an almost violent brawl over a mop. A MOP! OMG… Bubs was dragging Mimo along the living room floor both of them refusing to let go of that precious Magic Clean Mop.

In that army officer’s tone, I ordered them to stay by the wall until I’m done with the laundry (which took 10 minutes). They were not allowed to leave until both of them apologised and hugged each other. 10 minutes later, they were best buddies again squealing in delight down the hallway.

At that moment, I knew I had to search up on ways to prevent sibling rivalry. Here’s some great websites to share – When do we step in? When is it ok not to? What shall we do when they fight?

1. How We Montessori: Notes to a Montessori parent

2. Janet Lansbury: 4 ways to relax about sibling toy taking

3. Living Montessori Now: 5 ways to reduce sibling rivalry

4. The Montessori Notebook: Siblings without rivalry —> Includes a free printable

As a mother to two boys, it is heartening to see Bubs taking on his role as the older brother be it helping Mimo wear his shoes, put on his clothes, brush his teeth, read his favourite book…

It’s not easy for the kids too. They are learning and doing wonderfully well.

May they continue to grow in the Lord’s love, grace & wisdom. In kindness towards one another.

For one day, my husband and I will no longer be around and it would comfort us to know the brothers have each other’s backs.

 

Xoxo,

Jingyi

 

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