One area I’m working on, especially for Em is to treat his brother with kindness & empathy.
Earlier this evening, Bubs was building block towers & Baby E, in all his curiosity crawled towards his big brother. Bubs’ raised his hands instinctively to ‘protect’ his block towers from being knocked over & both got into a little tousle… … Baby E wailed at the top of his lungs, Bubs began to whine.
Some strategies I discovered that works (most of the time)
- Talk to Bubs firmly yet gently.
- Instead of saying “You shouldn’t do that!”, I give Bubs a solution e.g. “Why don’t you give your brother his toy or a few wooden blocks. Tell him nicely that he can play with these instead of knocking over your tower.”
- Stay calm, letting Bubs know what while he’s mad at his brother, he should not use violence.
- If all else fails, disengage him, carry Baby E & walk away. I tell Bubs I’ll come back later when he’d calmed down.
- Reassure & soothe Baby E, telling him I knew what had happened.
The harder part is handling Bubs’ emotions. There had been moments I simply lost it & raised my voice.
As a mother, I’m glad to see that the boys are enjoying each others company more each day. Bubs do love his brother and the feelings are mutual.
I will definitely use a peace table when both boys are older.
Maybe, there should be peace tables for adults in workplaces too! Or everywhere else where those overgrown kids engage in conflicts. Lol…