Learning To Co-exist Lovingly

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One area I’m working on, especially for Em is to treat his brother with kindness & empathy.

Earlier this evening, Bubs was building block towers & Baby E, in all his curiosity crawled towards his big brother. Bubs’ raised his hands instinctively to ‘protect’ his block towers from being knocked over & both got into a little tousle… … Baby E wailed at the top of his lungs, Bubs began to whine.

Some strategies I discovered that works (most of the time)

  • Talk to Bubs firmly yet gently.
  • Instead of saying “You shouldn’t do that!”, I give Bubs a solution e.g. “Why don’t you give your brother his toy or a few wooden blocks. Tell him nicely that he can play with these instead of knocking over your tower.”
  • Stay calm, letting Bubs know what while he’s mad at his brother, he should not use violence.
  • If all else fails, disengage him, carry Baby E & walk away. I tell Bubs I’ll come back later when he’d calmed down.
  • Reassure & soothe Baby E, telling him I knew what had happened.

The harder part is handling Bubs’ emotions. There had been moments I simply lost it & raised my voice.

As a mother, I’m glad to see that the boys are enjoying each others company more each day. Bubs do love his brother and the feelings are mutual.

I will definitely use a peace table when both boys are older.

Maybe, there should be peace tables for adults in workplaces too! Or everywhere else where those overgrown kids engage in conflicts. Lol…

Xoxo,

Jingyi

 

 

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